How To Serve Yeerk
by Lucillia
Summary: This is a book on how to serve Yeerk. Praised by Andalite Scoopkeeping amongst other wonderous publications throughout the galaxy.
1. Chapter 1

How To Serve Yeerk

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.

1. Yeerk Stir-Fry.

Yeerk stir-fry is a surprisingly tasty treat, great for almost any meal. Alone the Yeerk is a rather slimy and foul tasting creature, but surprisingly this exotic animal goes well with almost any stir-fry recipe. Here is a wonderful recipe for Yeerk and Stir-fried Vegetable Mix.

1 medium sized Yeerk, cubed.

3 Tablespoons salad oil.

2 medium carrots cut in matchstick thin strips.

1 medium onion, thinly sliced.

1 small bumch broccoli, cut in 2 inch by 1/2 inch pieces

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon sugar.

1 4-ounce can whole mushrooms.

1. In a 12-inch skillet over high heat, in hot oil, cook carrots, onion, Yeerk and broccoli, stiring quickly and frequently, about 3 to 4 minutes.

2.Add salt, sugar and mushrooms with their liquid: cover and cook 5 to 6 minutes until vegetables are tender-crisp, stirring occasionally.

Author's Note: I believe that you will either recognize the title from an old Science Fiction story written a while back, or from the old Twilight Zone episode. For those who don't know, It's from How to Serve Man. It was the title of the alien's book in the story. If you haven't guessed by now, it was a cookbook.

P.S.: If anyone wants to send recipe ideas, they are welcome to do so. The recipe above is an actual recipe, minus the Yeerk of course. 


	2. Yeerk Pie

To Serve Yeerk 

Disclaimer: I don't own animorphs, but you already knew that.

2. Savory Yeerk Pie.

This wondrous dish was discovered by a Controller who wishes to remain anonymous. It is surprisingly delicious.  
The best results are gained by using recently fed Yeerks.

1 small onion, chopped (about 3/4 cup)

2 tablespoons chopped green pepper

2 tablespoons shortening

2 cups bite sized pieces cooked Yeerk

1 package (10 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables, broken apart

1 cup Yeerk gravy.

1/4 cup water.

Sesame drop Biscuits (recipe below)

Cook and stir onion and green pepper in shortening in a 10 inch skillet until tender. Stir in Yeerk, frozen vegetables, gravy and water; heat until hot, about 5 minutes. Pour into ungreased oblong baking dish 12x71/2x2 inches, or square baking dish, 8x8x2 inches. Prepare Sesame Drop biscuits; drop onto hot beet mixture. Cook uncovered in 450 degree oven until bidcuits are light brown, 15 to 20 minutes. 6 servings

Sesame Drop Biscuits

1/3 cup shortening

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour.

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

1/4 cup sesame seed

Cut shortening into flour, baking powder and salt with pastry blender until mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in milk just until soft dough forms (dough will be sticky). Drow dough by 12 spoonfuls into sesame seed, coating all sides.

If using self-rising flour, omit baking powder and salt.


	3. Yeerk Kabobs

To Serve Yeerk. 

Disclaimer: See chapter 2.

3. Yeerk Kabobs.

This is a wonderful treat that compliments any barbecue. This delightfully simple recipe is good for any festive occasion.

Yeerk Kabobs.

2 pounds high-quality Yeerk meat cut into 1 1/4 inch cubes.

1 can ( 10 1/2 ounces) condensed Yeerk consomme.

1/3 cup dry white wine or apple juice

2 tablespoons soy sauce

2 cloves garlic, crushed 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon cornstarch.

Place Beef in oblong baking dish, 13 1/2x9x2 inches. Heat consomme, wine, soy sauce, garlic and onion powder to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer uncovered 5 minutes; cool. Pour mixture on Yeerk. Cover and refrigerate, spooning mixture over Yeerk occasionally, at lesst 3 hours.

Thread 4 or 5 Yeerk cubes on each of 6 to 8 skewers. Stir marinade gradually into cornstarch in saucepan. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens. Boil and stir 1 minute. Brush over kabobs. Set oven control to broil and/or 550 degrees. Broil kabobs with tops about 4 inches from heat 7 minutes; turn. Brush with sauce and broil 7 minutes. Place on hot platter; spoon on remaining sauce. 8 servings.


	4. Yeerk Stew

To serve Yeerk. 

Disclaimer: I don't own animorphs.

4. Yeerk Stew.

This dish is wonderful as a dinner in front of the fireplace on a cold winter's night. Reading this recipe you can almost feel the warmth of the fire, and hear the crackling of the logs in the fireplace while it snows outside.

1 pound Yeerk cut into 1 inch cubes

1 tablespoon shortening

3 cups hot water

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon pepper

1 large potato, cut into 1 1/2 inch pieces (about 1 1/4 cup)

1 medium turnip, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup)

2 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup)

1 medium stalk celery, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup)

1 medium green pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1/2 cup)

1 small onion chopped

1/2 teaspoon bottled brown bouquet sauce

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 Yeerk bullion cube

1 bay leaf

Parsley Dumplings (recipe below)

1/2 cup cold water

2 tablespoons flour

Cook and stir Yeerk in shortening in 12-inch skiller or Dutch oven until Yeerk is brown, about 15 minutes. Add 3 cups hot water, 1/2 teaspoon salt and the pepper. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer until Yeerk is almost tender, 2 to 2 1/2 hours.

Stir in potato, turnip, carrots, green pepper, celery, onion, bouquet sauce, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, the bouillon cube and bay leaf. Cover and simmer until vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes.

Prepare Parsley Dumplings. Shake 1/2 cup cold water and the flour in tightly covered container; stir gradually into stew. Heat to oiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute; reduce heat.

Drop dumpling dough by 10 to 12 spoonfuls onto hot stew (do not drop direstly into liquid). Cook uncovered 10 minutes, Cover and cook 10 minutes longer. 5 or 6 servings.

Parsley Dumplings:

3 tablespoons snipped parsley or chives.

3 tablespoons shortening

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup milk

Cut shortening into flour, baking powder and salt until mixtrue resembles fine crumbs. Add the Parsley. Stir in milk. Drop dough by spoonfuls onto hot meat or vegetables in boiling stew (do not drop directly into liquid). Cook uncovered 10 minutes. Cover and cook about 10 minutes longer. 8 to 10 dumplings.


	5. Chapter 5

How to serve Yeerk. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.

Visser Three slammed his fist on the keyboard closing the screen for the new cookbook that was becoming rather popular throughout the galaxy.

Find the asshole who's writing this and have him killed immediately>

Meanwhile, on a little blue planet called Earth a group of five teenagers and one Andalite were in a rather intense arguement.

"Marco you got to do the last one it's my turn."

"No it isn't Rachael you did the first one."

Everyone, I believe that it is my turn>

"Fine Ax, go ahead."

Thank you, Prince Jake>

"Don't call me prince."

Beer battered yeerk and cigarette butts:

3 Large Yeerks

1 can of beer any brand.

"Ax where the hell do you think we're going to get beer?"

4 cups of bread crumbs.

1 cup of oil.

"Dear god Ax that better not be motor oil."

1 Large frying pan.

1 bowl.

"You don't need to list the utensils Ax."

1 cup cigarette butts.

"I'm not going to try anything that has cigarette butts in it. At least the Yeerk stew looked somewhat palatable."

First you mix the beer and bread crumbs in a large bowl. Then you take a thin bladed knife and remove the mucus membrane from the yeerks. Place the yeerks in the bread crumb mixture and rotate until evenly covered. Place the crumb covered yeerks in the heated oil and deep fry. Remove once golden brown. Place the Yeerks on a plate and garnish with cigarette butts. This will make a yummy dish.

"Guh-Guh-Good, Tayuh-Tastes Like Chic-Chicken."

"You're fucking sick Ax."


	6. Yeerkburgers

Yeerk Burgers:

This dish would be appreciated at any barbecue, as long as you don't tell people what's in it.

1 pound ground yeerk.

2 taplespoons minced onion

1 teaspoon salt.

1/4 teaspoon pepper

catchup, mustard or relish

Plain or toasted hamburger buns

With spoon, mix well ground yeerk, onion, salt and pepper.

Shape mixture gently into 4 patties, each about 1 inch thick.

Over medium heat, skillet until very hot. Cook patties 3 to 4 minutes each side, turning them once.

Serve Yeerkburgers plain or with one of the suggested toppings, in buns, if you like.

BROILED YEERKBURGERS: Preheat broiler if manufacturer directs. Prepare ground yeerk mixture as above; shape into thick patties; arrange on rack in broiling pan. Broil about 2 inches from het source, about 8 minutes, turning once. If you like, during last few minutes, top with one of the following: Cheddar ghese slice or catchup, chili or soy sauce.

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Rachael stared down at her hamburger and poked it. Ever since she'd come up with that yeerkburger recipe, she'd been rather wary about what might actually be on her plate. She wouldn't put it past Ax to actually attempt to cook their enemy. The cookbook had been something of a joke based on some old Twilight Zone episode that had been based on some old Sci-fi story.

Picturing the Yeerks running about screaming "It's a cookbook!" caused her to laugh slightly. She didn't eat the burger though.


	7. Yeerk and Cheese Omelet

Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs and am covering my backside in case the person who does decides to take offence.

Yeerk and cheese Omelet:

This wonderful breakfast will prepare you to start your day. It is best served with a side of toast and a tall glass of cold orange juice.

First one will need step by step instructions for creating their omelet.

To prepare the omelet one needs:

3 eggs

1 tablespoon cold water

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon pepper

1 tablespoon butter or margarine

To cook the omelet:

Break the eggs into a small bowl. Add the water, salt and pepper.

Beat the eggs vigorously with a wire whisk or fork - just enough to mix the egg yolks and whites.

In a 7-inch omelet pan or skillet over medium heat, melt butter or margarine; tilt the skillet so that the butter coats the entire surface of the pan.

Pour in eggs all at once. Let them set around edge. Shake pan occasionally to keep omelet moving freely over the bottom of the pan.

With a metal spatula lift edge as it sets, tilting skillet to allow uncooked egg mixture to run under omelet.

Continue to shake pan for a few seconds longer until you can feel the omelet sliding freely over the pan surface.

When omelet is set but still moist on the surface, increase heat slightly to brown bottom. Remove pan from heat.

Tilt pan away from you and using the spatula, lift the edge of the omelet and quickly fold in half.

Slide omelet on to a warm plate, garnish if you wish. Serve the hot omelet immediately.

To fill the omelet, prepare the filling fifteen minutes beforehand. Add filling before removing from pan.

To add a filling: Spread the prepared filling over one half of the cooked omelet with a spatula. Gently fold the other half of the omelet over the filling.

To prepare the Yeerk for the omelet you will need:

1 tablespoon butter or margerine

3/4 cup cooked Yeerk cut into thin strips

1/8 teaspoon seasoned pepper

In a small skillet over medium heat, melt butter or margarine. Add the cooked Yeerk and cook until hot, stirring frequently to prevent burning. Sprinkle with seasoned pepper.

For the cheese:

One half of 1/3 cup of shredded Cheddar or mixture of Parmesan and Swiss.

Sprinkle cheese over omelet before folding.

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

"You know Marco, if you put half as much thoughts into your battle plans as you do your cooking, we could've driven the Yeerk away ages ago." Tobias said as he looked at the recipe Marco had created and was about to add to the book. If they actually tried to prepare it, he'd turn into a hawk and fly off. There was no way in hell he was going to be used as the taste tester for this disaster.

Well, maybe if it was Visser Three. Visser Three did eat his father after all, and turnabout was fair play. But since he hated omelets, he'd pick something else.


End file.
